no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
