bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This girl is more easily done than said...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
