all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
