I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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