you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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