Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
