turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think your dad took our porno
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
