Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
