we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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