I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
