Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
