"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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