That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
