carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
