im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
