Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
