i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
