Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
