This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
