If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
