no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize