I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
