if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
