she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
