Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How's work?
Spinning.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
