I wanna bring you to show and tell
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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