So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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