if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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