Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
