i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
