How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
