You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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