new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
