never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
