In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
