PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
