Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
