Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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