She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
