I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
