I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
FUCK WHALES
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize