so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize