At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
