we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't EVER smell your tampon
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
