...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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