So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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