I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
