I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
