So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
