New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
