You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We left the knife in your bed.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
