Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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