Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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