I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish you could order shots online.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
