you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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