this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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