You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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