If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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