My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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