I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I love you. Go after that dick
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
