So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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