she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
