Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
